Autobiography: Let me introduce myself. My name is Noah Gitelman. I have often been referred by as others as a witty, independent gentleman. I am twenty years old, born in Montreal as an only child. This is the magical story of my life. I grew up in Notre Dame de Grace where I spent most of my childhood at Willingdon Grade School. I developed my sense of entrepreneurship at Willingdon selling cigarette packs to my classmates for ten dollars a pack. This was fine for my expenses at the time. As a preteen schoolboy, they consisted mostly of candy, chips and arcade games. When I hit puberty, everything changed. . . I discovered the feminine mystique. By that time I was spending a lot of time at the NDG Pool Hall, where I quickly learned to hustle "chumps" out of their money. However, the most valuable things I learned from spending time at the seedy joint was from Bobby the pimp, but more importantly from his number one call girl, Candy. Believe me my friends, you haven't really understood anything about pure femininity until you witnessed a girl like Candy peddle her ass for 40$ a hit... Candy taught me everything I know about business. When it came to money, she was a true genius. Bobby owed his success to her, in fact, I was never sure about who worked for whom, I only know that the two of them made a lot of money, mostly because of Candy's business skills. She worked the streets like a doctor works a patient; meticulously, with discipline and a sense of purpose. Her business ethics impressed me so much that whatever success I have had so far in my life can be attributed to her. Candy wasn't just my business mentor; she was very much my mother figure throughout my youth. She taught me how to respect and care for those less fortunate (half the money she made from prostitution and dealing drugs she would give to the poor), how to smile in the face of adversity (when you get arrested that often smiling is perhaps the only thing which will keep you from cracking)... She taught me so much. Candy was killed in 1996 by one of her clients. This was a turning point in my life. The only real beauty I had ever known destroyed, erased from existence in one swift, foul move. Bobby the pimp tracked down the murderer four years later. Despite all his flaws, weaknesses and vices, Bobby has been a father figure for me to this day. Due to one simple fact: He understood my RAGE! He gave me the "scoop" on this guy and let me confront him... So yesterday, I woke up in a pool of blood. Looking into the vacant eyes of this stranger, I thought long, and hard. The first thought that came to my mind was that I felt nothing for this man - this human. I'm glad that he's dead. I enjoyed watching him die. Although nothing can bring Candy back, the satisfaction of seeing this man suffer seems to have made me attain something. I don't know what the right word is, my friends. Some call it revenge, others closure, maybe even justice. Whatever it is, I know it felt right, and that I would do it again a million times if I had to. Yes, my friends, a million times I would see a man's life slip away from his body through my will. Candy herself embodied righteousness, and any act committed on her behalf is intrinsically right... Yes ... The second thought that came after that, my friends, was whatever would I write for my English assignment tomorrow? [ Back ]